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    comedy collum

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    Brandon Phantom
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    comedy collum

    Post  Brandon Phantom on Tue Jan 26, 2010 3:17 am

    Now Noah was a busy man. Here was a man 600 years old building an ark to save all the animals and his family. Imagine the effect of an ark on the neighbors
    hey you up there.
    yes?
    what is this thing
    Its an ark
    Heh. you mind movin it out of my driveway? whats it for?
    i cant tell you Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.
    well can you give me a hint
    you want a hint
    yes please
    how long can you tread water? Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.


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    Re: comedy collum

    Post  Brandon Phantom on Sat Feb 06, 2010 7:40 pm

    So to choose a new pope the hopefuls go into a little room, smoke a couple of joints and discuss who the next pope is going to be.
    how about an itailian
    nah we had one a while ago mabe a spaniard like(suave) Ricardo
    No ive got it this is a good one a Nazi
    they all start laughing and agree
    so now we have a german pope


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    Re: comedy collum

    Post  Brandon Phantom on Sat Feb 20, 2010 12:15 pm

    "but i know that there is a country that will never make a weapon of mass destruction and doesnt have a secret weapons facility in the mountains and that is (jamaican accent) jamaica. they wont make an atomic bomb but theyll make an atomic bong with the ataoic bomb theres devistation and radiation with the atomic bong theres celebration (normal) ive never met an angry pot smoker"
    credit goes to robin williams


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    Re: comedy collum

    Post  Brandon Phantom on Sun Feb 21, 2010 12:11 am

    (normal noah CAPS GOD)
    Theres a man by the name of noah buit an ark ppl aask wht did noah do and you say well he built an ark but very few ppl acctually know about the conversation that took place between the lord and noah see hoah was in his rec room sawing away making a few items for the home owners hes a good cartenter and hes sawing away
    (voobah voobah voobah)
    (ding) NOAH
    sombody call me? (Voobah Voobah Voobah)
    (Ding) NOAH
    Who is that
    ITS THE LORD NOAH
    ...Right ...where are ya ...what do you want ive been good?
    I WANT YOU TO BUILD AN ARK!
    ...Right ...Whats an ark
    GET SOME WOOD BUILD IT 300 CUBITS BY 50 CUBITS BY 80 CUBITS
    ...Right ...whats a cubit
    OH LETS SEE I USED TO KNOW WHAT A CUBIT WAS WHEN YOUR DONE WITH THAT GO OUT INTO THE WORLD COLLECT ALL THE ANIMALS IN THE WORLD BY TWOS MALE AND FEMALE AND PUT THEN INTO THE ARK
    ...Right ...who is this really ...why are you asking me to do all of these weird things
    IM GOING TO DESTROY THE WORLD
    Right ...am i on candid camera ...how you gonna do it
    IM GONNA MAKE IT RAIN FOR 1000 DAYS AND DROW'EM RIGHT OUT
    ...Right ...listen to this youll save water make it rain for 40 days and 40 nights and wait for the sewers to back up
    ...RIGHT


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    Re: comedy collum

    Post  Misei on Fri Mar 05, 2010 8:20 pm

    Those are Hilarious. lol!
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    Re: comedy collum

    Post  Brandon Phantom on Sat Mar 06, 2010 12:00 am

    racist giftcard

    A mexican comedian gets a giftcard along with a pingiata the gift card has a picture of a mariachi he reads the gift card and it says welcome to bakers field
    immigration control
    P.S. we cant wait to meet you

    the mexican wonders wtf is going on when there is a knock at the door "who is it" a guy on a bull horn answers "Immigration control" he opens the door ready to explain his situation and there are two of his black friends instead of cops.


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    Re: comedy collum

    Post  Brandon Phantom on Sat Mar 06, 2010 2:42 am

    The one time white ppl can say nigga Cris Rock

    ok now listen close cuz i may never say this shit again. the one time a white person can say nigga ok if its christmas eve between 430 and 449 in the morning your on your way to the toys r us to buy your kid the last transformer doll and right before ou get into the toys r us some black person jumps out in front of you smacks you upside the head with a brick knocks you to the ground stomps on your face "take that you crack ass Mother fucker 3X" river dances on your head "take that you crackass mother fucker 3X" takes your money pisses on you and runs away if your white at that moment you can say "SOMEBODY STOP THAT NIGGA"


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    Re: comedy collum

    Post  Kiiro on Fri Mar 19, 2010 3:12 pm

    (I got this from a kid at school) Spell Ihop then say ness.

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